40: How to handle grief during the pandemic?
Q: A relative of mine has died from COVID-19. Normally, we would travel to the funeral to support the family. How can we support our family members who are grieving while maintaining safe social distancing?
💁Tracy: Many people have passed away in the COVID-19 pandemics, unfortunately. This means many more families are in grief. Every tradition has ceremonies to memorialize someone’s passing and help the family through the difficult time that follows. Social distancing has made such large gatherings difficult, but you can still help family members. Here are some suggestions:
It’s important to let the people who are in grief know you are there for them. You can also comfort them by letting them know that,
Resources:
💁Tracy: Many people have passed away in the COVID-19 pandemics, unfortunately. This means many more families are in grief. Every tradition has ceremonies to memorialize someone’s passing and help the family through the difficult time that follows. Social distancing has made such large gatherings difficult, but you can still help family members. Here are some suggestions:
- Talk to clergy about appropriate ways to offer support during the pandemic. Alternative forms may be adapted, for example, by sending food and gifts to the family.
- Call or use video technology to express your condolences.
- Participate in any service that is conducted via technology.
- Send notes, gifts, or flowers unless religious or health concerns prevent them.
- Stay in contact with the family, be ready to listen and offer help.
- Find your own ways to honor the deceased and their memory; sharing stories and memories can be healing for the family.
It’s important to let the people who are in grief know you are there for them. You can also comfort them by letting them know that,
- COVID-19 has made it more difficult to express and process grief, because of the need of quarantine, social distance, and when death could happen unexpectedly or in a very sudden way.
- It is normal to be angry, confused, in denial, or profoundly sad. In fact, it is normal to feel all of these at the same time. It is also normal to want to bargain for things to be different. Everyone goes through grief in different stages and in individual ways.
- Be accepting to what's coming up naturally as emotions and thoughts, but learn how to release them in healthy ways rather than destructive ways, such as using drugs or violence, or falling into victims to depression.
- Reach out to family and friends for support.
- Seek mental health professionals for help if needed, and find or start support groups with others who have similar experiences.
- Talk to your clergy about funeral arrangements. Do what feels appropriate to you and the situation.
- Come up alternative ways for mourning, and be creative, for example, by having a video chat, writing notes to the deceased, or anything else that stays within current safety guidelines.
- Allow yourself some private moments for reflect and grief.
- Plan a memorial service after restrictions are lifted.
- Maintain physical health and daily normalcy at the same time.
Resources:
- https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/04/13/999348/covid-19-grief-zoom-funerals/
- https://www.vox.com/2020/4/7/21202788/funerals-during-coronavirus-burials-mourning
- https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief
- https://www.everydayhealth.com/coronavirus/how-to-mourn-the-death-of-a-loved-one-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/
Writing: Debbie Vilardi; Proofreading: Shen Chen; Artwork: Yvonne Xia
